How to Properly Brainwash Your Children

I can't wait to have children one day so I can brainwash them into believing everything that I do. After all, it's the only reason people believe in Christianity to begin with. It all has to do with where one was born and what they were taught to believe. It's like pants. The only reason I wear pants today is because I was raised to believe that one should wear pants.

Or not...

Why do I wear pants? Because I don't want to be punched in the face for walking around without any pants on. Why do I believe in Christianity? Because I don't want to be punched in the face by reality for trying to live according to some other nonsense. Christianity is true, and therefore I believe in it. If it's not true, then there is no reason to believe in it. Its worth is nothing, and let's move on to the next big thing. I guess we could make a religion out of American Idol or something. We'll worship whomever wins for a year, and then move on once another singer is deemed worthy of our worship.

I remember when I was growing up and I tried to pick up some scissors and my parents were all like "oh, hell no" and told me to put them down. Yea, they did that because scissors are dangerous and they wanted to teach me to be careful with sharp objects until I was mature enough for them (which might be soon). They were teaching me to live according to how reality really is. They didn't let me play with the scissors and allow me to decide for myself if they were dangerous or not.

All of this applies to Christianity. If we want to properly brainwash our children we need to teach them not only that Jesus loves them because the Bible tells us so, but the reasons and foundation for why Jesus is God, why God exists, and why they can trust the Bible to begin with. It's not merely our personal belief that Christianity is true, just like my parents didn't only personally believe the scissors were dangerous. The scissors are sharp, and Christianity is true, and therefore we should act and raise our children accordingly.

Passing on a faith without reason is teaching a faith in faith--a meaningless faith. It would be like having hope in hope or being in love with love. What is true faith? Faith in Christ--the Incarnation of the living God. The Christ who was born, crucified, and raised from the grave in space, time, and history. Faith is only worth the objective reality of the object it's placed in.

Fail to brainwash our children properly and they will end up in college and be told a lot of nonsense by atheists who will demolish their faith in faith and our children will buy into a lie and become a bunch of silly atheists as well. Our brainwashing must be stronger than the atheists, and the only way we are going to do this is if we instill in our children a faith based in reason, evidence, and reality. Not a faith in faith, not a faith based in emotion, not a faith coming from a pragmatic wager, nor a faith springing from an existential crises--only a faith based in the objective reality of the God who is there will suffice for our children.

If we don't brainwash our children first, then the culture, colleges, and celebrities will.

It's our choice.

Let's put on some pants and thump some Bibles and brains.