Applying for a Nobel Peace Prize

Dear Nobel Peace Prize decision making people,

As you may or may not know there is a small battle being waged on the validity of the law of non-contradiction. You know, the law which says that if something is, then it cannot also not be. I cannot exist and not exist at the same time, that would be rather impossible. Not everyone agrees, though. Some people say that attempting to prove the law of non-contradiction is circular logic seeing that one must already have the law of non-contradiction in place if they wish to affirm it. After all, if the conclusion is that the law of non-contradiction is true, then one must have already used the law itself to prove that the law is not false as well. It's bad argumentation to presuppose what you wish to prove.

Way back in history days, as I'm sure you're aware, sometime during the tenth century A.D. a Muslim philosopher named Avicenna came on the scene and made a rather violent argument for the law. He proposed if a philosopher wanted to deny the law of non-contradiction they should be beaten and burned until they admitted that being beaten and burned is not the same as not being beaten and burned.

This is obviously a terrible way to prove the law of non-contradiction, and I'm going to make a case for a better way.

I guess you might be asking what the law of non-contradiction has to do with your Nobel Prizes for peace, physics, medicine and the rest, but I think after a few moments of deliberation it becomes obvious. If you wish to award so-and-so the award for doing such-and-such then it can't also be true that they didn't do such-and such. Surely you can see how you need the law to grant your awards. If I can save the Nobel Prize then I deserve one myself. And further it should be a Peace Prize seeing as that I am saving people everywhere from being beaten and burned until they deny that they are also not being beaten and burned.

Therefore, I am demanding my Nobel Peace Prize for the dilemma this puts you in. If you wish to say that I have proven the law of non-contradiction then you owe me the award for saving both the victims of Avicenna and the Nobel Prize itself. Yet, if you wish to deny that I have proven the law of non-contradiction then it must also be true that I have proven the law (seeing that you need to use the law to deny that I have!). Whatever your response I have earned the prize.

I honestly see no way for you to escape this. You might say that you already believe in the law of non-contradiction, but this is obviously not true as you gave a Nobel Prize to President Obama for doing nothing at all. You must also believe that he has actually done something while seeing that he has done nothing. There is no law of non-contradiction to be found in your reasoning.

I expect my award and million dollars in 6-8 weeks.

Thank you,
CB Riggs