RE: Complaining In Restaurants

I've worked in the service industry for nine years now, take that as my curriculum vitæ if you will. I think, therefore, that this grants me my PhD in serving making me an authority in the field. While there are nuances and tricks to the job, I believe that if I was to bestow upon anyone one piece of advice before they started it would be this: As a server it is very easy to begin to view your tables as just another step between you and rent. This does not lead to good service as the customer has been dehumanized, and anything dehumanized has been robbed of how it should be treated. The trick, then, is to view each table as your job in and of itself. Why is this so? Simply because if you reverse the perspective from waiter to “waitee” the paradigm shift becomes obvious. While it's descriptive to say that a table is merely another task I have to run through to go home, it doesn't tell the whole story; just as it's not ample to say that being in love is to merely be having one's brain secreting such and such a chemical. To the table the meal could be a very special night out, or it could be a dinner that they have been saving up for for a long time; the possibilities are endless. Sure, you have the people who go out to eat for the night where the food is just the backdrop for conversation, or a business deal, but the exceptions never define the norm, and therefore, it is the server's job to attempt to make every table's experience special.

Holding all that in mind I can completely understand when a guest feels upset when they have spent a lot of time and money preparing for an evening only to have it ruined because of the service. Anger and frustration is only a natural reaction, and this understandably leads to wanting their voice to be heard. Yet, I do not feel more sympathy when a guest complains about their server. This is because in the service industry when a server receives a guest complaint they immediately have their job on the line. I think we can all remember times in our lives that would have been destroyed if we lost our jobs at that moment. I have seen people who I thought were the nicest and most genuine people in the world lose their job over complaints and I have seen others get fired who had it coming. My point, however, is that while the guest may be completely correct about the server's performance I still find this irrelevant to voicing the complaint. This is because no one can be perfect all the time. While not excuses for poor service, perhaps the server might have just been taken the wrong way in something they said, perhaps they were stuck in a situation that caused the guest's evening to suffer, perhaps they were going through a rough time in their personal life causing their mind to be elsewhere, or perhaps they just might have been purposely rude, but I still believe that they should be given the benefit of the doubt. If the server really just doesn't deserve their job then the chances are that they will not be working there much longer anyway.

During Jesus' sermon in the sixth chapter of Luke Jesus tells his listeners that if they are slapped they should turn the other cheek and if they have their coat stolen they should offer the thieves their shirt as well. This is a radical teaching, but such is the nature of Jesus' philosophy. Contrary to people who find the Bible absurd, Jesus isn't speaking literally here. A quick note on literal is necessary. People often ask me if I take the Bible literally and what this usually equates to is, “are you really so stupid that you believe this stuff?” When I say I take the Bible literally what I mean is that what the authors intended to say is what I take the text to mean. Jesus was not speaking literally here in the sense that he was giving advice on what to do if someone slaps you in the face or steals your jacket. Jesus is using hyperbolic language to get the point across that when we are wronged we should not automatically attempt to get revenge or what we are due. There is a time to be merciful even when we have been betrayed by another. This is possible because all wrongs will ultimately be payed for either on the cross or in hell. There is a time to take things out of our hands and leave them open to the wrath of God. This is the definition of mercy, a concept shown in no greater way than by Christ's death on said cross--something that no one was worthy of, but was provided for us regardless of that fact.

Finally, there is a way to voice your opinion about the service without placing your server's job on the line. Reflect it in your tip. Contrary to this current climate of socialism one should only get paid on what they worked for. If the server did not perform their job well, then leave them a tip that lets them know. Hopefully the server will hold to the same philosophy I do and not complain about it, but attempt to reflect on what they could have done better. There are times when I realize that a table did not receive the service that they should have gotten and when I still receive a good tip I quietly thank them in my head. Regardless of whether they were ignorant of what service should be, or if they just decided to be generous even though they had to wait longer than normal the end result is the same: I'm thankful. I know there are many out there who would not be, but I think that's the point. Ultimately it's not up to us to pay back every right and wrong, it's up to God's absolute and perfect knowledge. This, I believe, is applicable to every circumstance of life regardless of the meal or milieu.

Oh, and a small postscript. I hope I did not come across as trying to present my job as some large sacrifice and role that demands great respect. It was merely a random thought that rolled off my tongue and I figured it was a wanting, yet apropos analogy for the larger point of life. May I get you anything to drink?